Let’s face it, the initial butterflies of a new relationship can and do fade.
And this isn’t just speculation or word-of-mouth tales. A large 2814-person study conducted on young and middle-aged heterosexual couples found that sexual satisfaction increased during the first year—peaking in the later months—then slowly declined in the subsequent years.
We get it: you’re still head over heels with your partner romantically, but the prospect of sex just doesn’t sound as appealing.
But fret not. If you want to learn how to spice up sex in the bedroom, here are some things you can consider to have a better and more fun sex life.
Why Does Our Sex Life Typically Worsen Over Time?
There are multiple reasons why passion in the bedroom may fade away. However, the most common causes of a sex life stagnation can be attributed to three main reasons:
- The novelty fading away
- Psychological issues
- Sexual dysfunction
Couples may move past the phase of learning their partner’s sexual skills, leaving less room for exploration and surprises. While the feelings of love have never faded away, the novelty has. This can make having sex feel like any ordinary part of the daily routine rather than something that can be enjoyed and cherished.
One or both members of the relationship may also have psychological issues regarding the act of sex. Men could have an inflated sense of self-entitlement or possess poor sexual communication skills, which can transfer over to a poor experience in the bedroom. Alternatively, self-doubt, shame, and performance anxiety can all prevent you from having amazing sex with your partner.
Another possible source of this decrease in sexual tension is aging, leaving the body susceptible to forms of sexual dysfunction. For instance, erectile dysfunction, or the inability to maintain an erection, starts to become more prevalent as you approach your older years. When that happens, sex doesn’t just feel like a chore—it becomes borderline impossible without treatment.
Fortunately, there are ways to clinically address this sexual issue. Contact a doctor for treatment for erectile dysfunction and other sexual dysfunction issues like low testosterone.
How to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Sharpen your pencils. These tips are sure to bring so much fun to your next rendezvous.
1. Build Up Stamina
If you find yourself getting winded easily during sex, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Fatigue is a prominent issue for aged folks and people who may be a little lacking in the exercise department.
And while we do recommend breaking out for a run every now and then, there are sex-centric ways to build up stamina too.
One way is by strengthening your pelvic muscles with pelvic floor muscle exercises. This is a fairly simple technique, supported by research to improve sexual function, that anyone can do virtually anywhere.
Here’s a fairly straightforward way of strengthening your pelvic floor muscles:
- Hold your pelvic floor for five seconds as if you’re cutting off the flow when urinating.
- After holding for 5 seconds, relax and loosen up your muscles.
- Repeat the process 10 times, thrice a day.
In addition, try to focus on your breathing during sex. Taking deep, slow breaths will help to control your body’s natural rhythms and allow you to last longer.
2. Try New Sex Positions
If you’ve been doing the same few positions for the past few months, it may be time to explore your bodies once more.
Trying new positions can not only add an element of excitement, but it can also provide different angles and deeper penetration—which can be orgasmic.
Some positions you may try:
- Doggy Style
- Standing O
- The Little Dipper
3. Spruce It Up with Sex Toys
If you and your partner are looking to achieve better sex lives, why not experiment with toys?
Adult toys can also help couples explore new fantasies and intensify their sexual desire.
For example, blindfolds can heighten the senses and can be a fun and sexy surprise toy for the bedroom. Or, if you’re interested in anal play, there are a variety of dildos and plugs designed for safe and pleasurable exploration.
Of course, it’s important to communicate with your partner about any new sexual fantasies or interests. But adding a sex toy or two to your sex life can be a great way to spice things up and keep things fresh.
So go ahead and explore—your love life will thank you for it.
4. Treat Erectile Dysfunction Problems
Any man dealing with erectile problems will agree that it can be a frustrating and embarrassing issue. Erectile dysfunction, one of the most common sexual problems, affects as many as 76.5% of men—making it much more common than some of us may think.
Luckily, there are several treatments available for erectile dysfunction and keeping an erection without pills—both home remedies and clinically-administered treatment plans. Treatments like acoustic wave therapy are research-backed, too. These include:
- Topical gels and creams
- Shockwave (acoustic wave) therapy
- Penile surgery
- Positive lifestyle changes
- Penile vacuum devices
- Adjusting medical dosages
If you’re struggling with erectile dysfunction, talk to a certified sex therapist about exploring treatment options. With theright ED treatment, you can improve your sexual health and enjoy sex once more.
5. Communicate Openly
If you’re not communicating openly with your partner about your needs, it’s almost impossible to be satisfied.
So, before anything else, make sure that you’re both on the same page about your relationship and sexual boundaries. What are you comfortable doing, and what are you not comfortable doing? Are there any other problems that either party hasn’t shed light on yet?
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
Additionally, make sure to give each other feedback during and after sexual acts. If you want to introduce roleplay before initiating sexual intercourse, for instance, go ahead and ask.
Contact St. Louis’ Leading Men’s Clinic for a Sexual Health Consultation
Sex is an intimate and fun occasion—but at some point, it’s certainly possible for it to get boring.
With the points listed in this article, we’ve hopefully imparted some useful tips to improve your sex life—whether you’re in your 40s or 70s.
If you’re having issues with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, contact the team at Paramount Men’s Medical Center in St. Louis now to schedule an appointment to have a consultation with their experienced and specially trained medical staff. We are St. Louis’ leading men’s clinic providing ED therapy, PE therapy, Acoustic Wave therapy, hormone therapy, and much more.